A few weeks before she left on a voyage to the other side of the planet, my daughter sent me this article: A Tribute to Mothers Who Send Their Children into Missions.
Now, I have never considered taking credit for ‘sending’ my child into missions. That is the Lord’s doing. He called her and she accepted the call. I even made comments to cause her to doubt whether or where she should go. Last summer was a test of my willingness to give up control and allow her to listen for God’s bidding, as he wanted her in Haiti.
Ever since I was little, I enjoyed traveling. Rather, I enjoyed exploring and I had a curiosity that had few bounds, whether that meant at home, down the street, with friends, by myself, or out of town. I should have been praying for forgiveness and with deep gratitude for my safety all along, but I did not have the relationship with Jesus that now helps me understand the what’s and why’s of life.
Traveling satisfied a part of that curiosity, and it was travel for my personal experience. Even if work-related, I jumped at the chance to visit somewhere new. So when my girl started to consider going on missions to spread the word of the Lord outside our area, I guessed that she had the same wanderlust that I have, and therefore my responses to her requests brought an earthly response: she can only go to places that are ‘safe’.
It was after she decided to go on mission to Haiti that I finally began to understand that her desire to travel not focused on curiosity as mine is. She has, even at this young age, given much of her self up to become a tool of Jesus. She struggles with the same issues that any American teenager does, but frequently is able to see that they are spiritual struggles, and she has influenced family and friends alike through ministry.
I am sure it took some courage to talk to me about plans to go to Kenya this year. I think she was struggling with it as well, so I immediately began to pray for peace and guidance so that I would not discourage her if this was God’s plan. There were many red flags for me: she was going with her best friend, to a remote ministry that I had never heard of, in an election year, with crazy stuff going on around the world much of it violence toward ‘westerners’ while abroad.
Then I saw the way that God was paving the way for her to go. Donations were pouring in from all sides. She was stretched to emotional limits with her upcoming high school graduation and all that had to be done to prepare for college, working, meeting all sorts of deadlines, all to such a limit that she and I actually began to dialogue clearly and set goals together so that I could help her along the way. (That was a new one for us)
Somewhere along the way she found that article. It touched my heart not only because it addressed so many of my conflicted emotions, but because she could apparently see where I was in that conflict and I took this as a gesture to comfort me.
The first line to resonate:
A mother of a missionary straddles the emotions of proud apprehension and anxious support. She keeps balance by fiercely clutching a confidence in her child’s calling and the certainty of God’s sovereignty.
That was before she left. I picked her up from the airport yesterday and re-visited that article. Today, I realize that this was my experience over the past two weeks:
A mother of a missionary lives in the strenuous reality that God’s will does not always equal safety. She understands that sending her child off into the unknown is not a romantic spiritual journey but an everyday battle with the forces of darkness and light.
And I worry even more about what is next. I also know that this is my opportunity to become in more intimate relationship with the God who is taking her places and putting her in these situations, so that I can understand her mission on a deeper level and support her without being a conduit of any force of darkness.
So when she wakes up from her catch-up slumber after 36+ hours of travel to get home, I will be grateful that she is home as I listen to her stories of how God used her to change people’s hearts, knowing all the while that in her obedience she will be making another journey sometime soon. This is her calling.
Living Life Well 